Last week, I went to this blog and read the posts I had made. The same day, I logged back in to this account and prepared to start this blog again. Three days ago I started a post, a post to explain why I’ve been gone for four years, and all the changes in my life that have kept me from being here. But, the words wouldn’t come.

The reason they wouldn’t come is because I didn’t believe them. Yes, they are all real and true, but they weren’t the real reason. My reason for leaving was more of neglect than purpose. The honest truth is, on a personal level, I suck at multi-tasking.

I have always been able to deal with anything I come across, maybe not succeed, but survive, by turning my focus in a solitary direction. I can focus on my health, I can focus on work, I can focus on my education, I can focus on my family, or I can focus on my writing; but I’ve never been able to focus on more than one at a time. When I started this I was determined to find a way to do everything. A balance that I could maintain, a schedule that I could follow, that would allow me to focus on each thing daily as needed. This is what I see from others and should be able to do myself.

Obviously, it didn’t work. Soon after, my work situation changed, and to survive my focus shifted that direction. Then it was to my health, and then, and then, and then…..it just kept going, focus shifting wherever it was needed to survive.

And then, there was nothing.

All the pressures that required my unwavering focus for me and my family to survive vanished. I was working from home, with a lot of vacation time coming up. I spent more time with the family. Working out became a choice instead of a requirement. The stress started to fade, and the weight of the world began to lighten.

I started to get interested in stories again. Other people’s stories at first; audiobooks, television, and written word. After a bit of time the imagination sparked again, and characters from my mind started appearing in these stories. Eventually, my own stories started returning, and along with them interest in returning here.

Now, I’m back to give it another shot. Most everything in my life is changing. As one story comes to an end, another one begins. Let’s see where this one goes. My stories are alive again, let’s see if I can bring them home.